"But surely Baron…!"

Evidently I’ve mentioned my 1998 game The Extraordinary Adventures of Baron Munchausen enough times to build up sufficient Googlejuice to bring search-queries to this blog, so I should probably talk about what’s happening with the new edition of the game.

First of all, a bit of history. My name, as you know, is James Wallis. Around the turn of the nineteenth century there were quite a few Wallises doing engraving and printing in London. My namesake James, a cartographer, created maps of all the English counties and collected them in a charming small book which I have never been able to afford. William Wallis did large engravings of notable buildings, two of which are in the Government’s art collection. Henry, Robert and Richard all did engravings in different forms—try searching for them on Abebooks if you’re interested. And John Wallis, together with his son Edward, made jigsaw puzzles and board games, some of the first ever released in the UK (link goes to PDF, for those interested in the history of English games publishing).

When I started Hogshead Publishing in 1994 I had no idea about any of this: it wasn’t until the Victoria & Albert Museum published a facsimile of Every Man To His Station (Edward Wallis, 1825) that I learned I had a forebear in the same trade as myself. A couple of years later the opportunity arose for me to go through some old family papers. I had hoped for some more information about John and Edward Wallis but I struck gold: an unpublished manuscript, commissioned by John from Baron Karl Friedrich Hieronymus Munchausen, concerning his travels and surprising adventures, and which John had never published. Or so it appeared.

I published the manuscript as ‘The Extraordinary Adventures of Baron Munchausen’ in 1998, and was gratified by its success. It was nominated for an Origins Award, it was translated into five languages, it’s one of the three games ever published by MIT Press, and I know that Terry Gilliam has a copy. And I thought that was an end of it.

However, it takes a lot to kill the Baron. The game kept going, whether or not it was in print: at conventions, online, in wikis, and elsewhere. In one incident, my friend Yoz was at a Jewish education conference and heard an exclamation of, “But surely Baron…!” from a crowded table. They were playing Munchausen.

A year or so ago the eponymous games publisher Steve Jackson asked me if he could release a PDF of Munchausen through Warehouse 23, and this inspired me to go back to the family archives to see if I could find something to add to the existing volume—perhaps some biographical information about John and Edward Wallis. Lighting did not strike twice: it struck twice more. First I found a description of some rules for a Middle Eastern variant of the game, with a description of a trip the Baron took to Baghdad in the early 1800s and his meeting with the venerable member of that city, Es-Sindibad the Sailor. And secondly… secondly I hit the motherlode.

I’d been preparing to do the new release of Munchausen with early C19th typography, and so had spent a couple of happy afternoons in the British Library, poring over very early editions of the Munchausen tales with a type rule. I knew the Munchausen section of their catalogue inside out, I’d done external research, I knew that John Wallis had never published the game. Yet there I was, in an attic surrounded by dusty papers, with a printed 8vo copy of it in my hand. An 8vo copy with a chapter I’d never seen before, containing the rules for ‘My Uncle the Baron’, a variant of the game intended for play by, and I quote, “children, the inbred and the very drunk”.

I pieced together the story from fragments of Edward Wallis’s later correspondence. It turns out that after the Baron sent him this final section of the game John Wallis did publish it in book form. However he had not checked it properly—he was a games publisher, not accustomed to the ways of the book-trade—and it contained a libel so gross that the entire print-run of the book was destroyed before it could go on sale. This is why there is no record of the game’s publication, and why the British Library does not have a copy. It’s possible that the copy in my collection is the only one left in the world, and that’s why I am taking extraordinary care in having it digitized.

The Extraordinary Adventures of Baron Munchausen will be re-released in the next two months, through my new imprint Magnum Opus Press. There will be a limited-edition hardback for collectors, a regular hardback, a regular softcover, and a PDF—which will be available through Warehouse 23. Previous offers I’ve made to send out PDFs of the original game (a game I now realise is woefully incomplete) to interested parties are withdrawn, with regrets and apologies. And as previously noted, a shorter version of the game appears in the recent MIT Press anthology Second Person.

If you’d like to be added to a mailing list to be sent more information when the new edition is released, or if you have any enquiries about it, please click here.

Second Person singular

It’s official: I’ve had an RPG published by MIT Press.

My author copy of Second Person: Role-Playing and Story in Games and Playable Media (ed. Pat Harrigan and Noah Wardrip-Fruin) arrived today, and it’s a goodie. Four hundred pages of essays and discussions on all aspects of interactive narrative, story-telling and character in games and games design, written by a veritable B to Z of industry notables, from Ian Bogost to Eric Zimmerman.

Cover of Second Person from MIT

In between there’s the likes of George R. R. Martin, Kim Newman, Jordan Mechner, Chris Crawford and Steve Meretzky—and old muckers of mine like Greg Costikyan, John Tynes, Jonathan Tweet, Ken Hite and Rebecca Borgstrom. (In fact, harking back to the last post, there’s two Diana Jones winners in here, and five members of the DJA committee. Go us.)

I have two pieces in Second Person: a paper on a design methodology for games that create stories as part of their gameplay (e.g. Dark Cults, Once Upon a Time, The Extraordinary Adventures of Baron Munchausen), and an abridged but playable reprint of the latter game. In fact there’s three RPGs in the book: Greg Costikyan’s Bestial Acts is also included, alongside John Tynes’ Puppetland which I had the honour of publishing as a New Style game, back in the Hogshead days. In fact John, Greg and I wrote the first three of the five New Style games. Excuse me if I grin like a Cheshire cat.

Before I saw the book I was a little afraid that its tone would be as dry as First Person (MIT, 2004) which is hard work for those of us who’ve been out of academia for twenty years, and that my piece would make me look like a yokel as a result. I’ve only dipped and skimmed so far, but it all looks accessible for those of us who don’t speak fluent academe, and with really meaty thought-provoking content. I seem to have more pages overall than anyone else in the book—it’s not just Munchausen‘s fault, my paper is one of the longest too—and I’m not yet convinced that I’ve avoided yokel status. But Second Person will still be taking pride of place on my Shelf of Smug for some time to come.

Second Person is probably the definitive work on the development and state of the art in narratology (plus some guff about games that make stories). If you take games seriously then you should at least check out the book’s website which… uh, doesn’t seem to be up yet. Okay, then you should definitely drop $40 on this handsome 400-page hardback. Amazon.co.uk has it for £20.50.

(List of contributors here; introduction as downloadable PDF here.)

How bad is Final Fantasy XI Online?

(Explanation filter: I was given a copy of Final Fantasy XI Online (Squaresoft, 2002) for the Xbox 360 a couple of months before I started this blog and, as those who have heard me evangelise the strengths of Final Fantasy VII (Squaresoft, 1997) can guess, my joy was unbounded. This is a description of my first 3+ hours of contact with the game, written as it happened.)

Jesus fucking Christ.

I put the disc in the drive, and the Xbox 360 begins its install of PlayOnline. PlayOnline is Squaresoft’s proprietary system for linking consoles to MMORPGs via broadband, including secure credit-card processing, unique user names, avatars, friend lists and messaging. The thing is, the 360 already has one of those. It’s called Xbox Live and it’s generally agreed to be the state of the art for this kind of thing. PlayOnline is essentially the same system, only more clunky, layered on top of Xbox Live and taking up a large chunk of the system’s storage. How much? About 8gb, or 40% of the 360′s hard-drive.

So PlayOnline installs from the disc, and then goes online to download its most recent updates. This takes a while, but I didn’t time how long. Then you have to register, entering data which is almost identical to the data you’ve already given Xbox Live. The difference is that PlayOnline seems to assume you’ll be entering it via a keyboard. There is no keyboard for the Xbox 360. There is a softkey system (an on-screen keyboard), but it’s not enabled by default. To use it, you have to move the cursor to the field you want to fill, press A, press X twice, then move the cursor to the keyboard. Once the field is filled, you have to disable the softkey system, move the cursor to the next field, and re-enable the softkeys.

The cursor is in the shape of some kind of bird. I think it’s meant to be a chocobo. Which bit of the bird is actually the active cursor is not clear. Clicking it on a field can take several tries. The soft keys are small, the cursor movements are unforgiving, and it is easy to mis-key.

It took me half an hour—I do not exaggerate—to register the game, at which point I sat back and looked forward to some FFXI lovin’. The PlayOnline system begins to install Final Fantasy XI.

First thought: it’s installing it? It’s a console game. Console games run off the disc. That’s the point; they’re instant gratification. What the fuck?
Second thought: AN HOUR? You’re telling me this is going to take AN HOUR?
Third thought: check current time.

When something tells me that a thing is going to take a certain amount of time, I am sceptical. I use the Northern Line, after all.

It takes an hour and ten minutes to install the game from the disc. Finally, I get to see the intro movie for the game. It is pre-rendered and heavily influenced by Return of the King, but my lord it’s gorgeous. And then we’re back into PlayOnline, to enter credit card details and the game’s registration codes, battling against the fuck-awful softkey system again.

A brief word on the registration codes. They are long alphanumeric strings, in groups of four characters. Each group of four needs to be entered in a separate field. Cursor to field, click A a few times, click X twice to bring up the keyboard, enter four characters, dismiss keyboard, move cursor slightly to the right, and repeat. Several times. Once again, this is a console game. It is also an MMORPG with a monthly subscription. And they want to make sure that I’m not using a pirate copy? Or, I’d guess, a second-hand copy? That seems a trifle unnecessary.

And once that’s done the game assigns you a unique user ID—gibberish alphanumerics—and a mail ID, which is more of the same. Then it logs you out. Then you have to log back in by re-entering the user ID it’s just given you.

But it’s a fucking console game.

And after lying to you and comprehensively pratting you around for literally hours, at the moment where you’re thinking that, yes, now, finally, surely one might actually get a taste of some FFXI gameplay, it commences downloading the most recent updates for the game. Not expansions, just updates. Which it reports will take an hour and thirty-nine minutes. And my broadband is far from slack.

That’s where I am as I write, somewhere in that 99-minute period. Actually I’m watching Criminal Minds on TV, and after that I’ll watch Lady Vengeance, and then I’ll go to bed. I have given up any hope of playing FFXI tonight, or indeed anything else. While the Xbox 360 can multi-task its gaming functions, downloading in the background while you play a game, here the downloading isn’t controlled by the 360 but by PlayOnline, which uses the rest of the console’s massive processing power to play a music loop. FFXI‘s music loops are okay, suitably evocative of rich fantasy landscapes, epic battles and quests into legend. PlayOnline’s is a maddening jingly-jangly loop of piano pap.

I haven’t played a single minute of this game yet, and already I loathe it and its publishing company. I am going to play the fuck out of it for a month and then uninstall it, so that Squaresoft and PlayOnline don’t get a single extra penny from me.

(Update: I played it for less time than it took to install. It’s dreadful.)